By: Brad Manock
I have lost plenty of items during my time growing up and living at my mom’s house. I would usually look around, fail to find what I was looking for, ask my mom to help me look, and then she would find it in 30 seconds. However once in a while this process of finding lost items would get very annoying, mostly because I trained my parents to believe I was a complete retard. The things that I was looking for always ended up being found by someone other than me. Their luck with finding things was good but sometimes it would get very annoying. In this article I will discuss some examples of what happens when this arrogance gets to be too much.
Where Is (Blank)?
When I was living at my mom’s house while attending middle school and high school, occasionally I would lose my homework. However there would be other times when I would be asked about homework, and then not be believed when I said I did not get any homework. There was one particular instance when I was younger that involved “spelling words.” I would get a sheet of 20 words every week that I had to memorize for the spelling test. One week I did not receive spelling words. When I went home my mom asked me where my spelling words were, since this had become an established routine throughout the school year she thought I was bullshitting when I said I did not have any spelling words. So for a good chunk of time, we ended up having to look for a thing that I was certain did not exist. I usually would avoid asking for help finding things but this is one situation where the search was not started by me.
Did You Look (Place)?
When I would lose an item, I would look for it where I thought it might realistically be. However my mom had a philosophy and routine when looking for things, “look everywhere, you cannot say it’s not there until you look.” There would often be very stupid suggestions that I would look just because of the technicality that I could not cross it off my mom’s mental checklist until I looked.
“Did you look in your pockets?” I would put my hands in my pockets, “not in any of my pockets” I would say just so that we can go back to looking in the places that might actually be realistic. Other times, if my searching was not perceived as thorough enough, I would be asked to look there again and “actually look, don’t just look AT it.” So if I did not lift everything and look in everything in a certain location, which was not considered actually “looking” there.
Were they Actually Trying to Help?
Looking back on these frustrating situations, it almost seems like my parents were trying to train me not to come to them for help whenever I lost something. It eventually got to the point where it was much quicker to simply look for something myself. My mom might say something like “did you look in the couch cushions?” I would say something like “I haven’t sat on that couch in like a month.” But there I would be, still searching that couch cushion anyways, going through the motions. Perhaps my mom was thinking “if I waste enough of his time maybe he will stop wasting mine every single time he loses something.” This would have made sense since I lost things basically every day. Lesson learned, right now my living area is small enough that I never lose anything. I am much better organized now then I have been in the past.