By: Brad Manock
Curse words are usually considered bad. That is a general rule that our society seems to have. But it is this fact that makes them so fun. If these same words were not considered ‘bad’ they would almost never be used. The thing that really makes me cringe is when people use swears words but they do not use them properly. In this article I will discuss how to become a pro at using swear words correctly.
What the BEEEEEEEEEEEP??!
The first thing that is noticeably annoying people trying to use swear words is that they often actually say “beep” instead of the swear word. If you are someone who does this, just choose your words more carefully so that you can explain your feelings without using swear words at all. What is even more annoying is when they drag out this “beep” for as long as they can. Usually it is kids who do this, in grade school or middle school, which drag out the word “beep” to the point of stupidity. It takes half a half second to say “fuck” I’d much rather hear “fuck” for a half second than “beep” for ten seconds. After about three seconds I am like “yes I get the fucking point.”
Dragging Out Normal Swear Words
Often when people hear something that is surprising to them they will say “what the fuuuuuuuuck?” This is annoying to me. It seems like they might as well say “what the fuck, HEY I AM COOL FOR USING A SWEAR WORD AND I WANT YOU TO BE MY FRIENDS SO I DON’T HAVE TO JERK OFF WITH MY LONELINESS TEARS AGAIN!” Every time someone drags out a swear word so obviously, that is the dialogue that I perceive in my own mind.
Don’t Be a “Mumble-Fuck”
I have several co-workers who are “mumble-fucks.” What do I define as being a “mumble-fuck?” A mumble-fuck is a person who, when they are angry, complain with an angry but quiet voice except for when they use the word “fuck,” in that instance their voice suddenly becomes loud and easy to hear. After saying “fuck” with clarity they go back to mumbling: angry and indecipherable complaints. It will go like this “I hate my job and (mumble mumble mumble) FUCKING (mumble mumble mumble.)” These people do not use swear words properly because they do not use swear words to enhance their message and their communication ability, they use swear words ‘instead’ of clear communication.
What Did We Learn?
Swear words are just words; treat them as you would any other word. Do not use swear words until you feel comfortable with using them as you would with any other kind of word. Also, do not use swear words as a crutch to compensate for a lack of effective communication ability.